Lol Bachelor quote: “Am I the only one who thinks that getting married by The Bachelor is like having a shop teacher with only 4 fingers? Not the best role model.”
Soulmate. That word evokes a response from just about everyone. For some it’s a nostalgic glance into neverland remembering the “one that got away.” For others, it’s a goofy look across the room at the person you are married to. Others react (like me) with immediate perspiration wondering: Do they exist? Does everyone have a soulmate? Does soulmate = unicorn? Have you ever dated someone who seems like your “soulmate” and then you break up? You think ‘Did I miss it?’ or ‘Did they miss it?’
Wiki defines it as: “A soulmate is a person with whom one has a feeling of deep or natural affinity. This may involve similarity, love, romance, friendship, comfort, intimacy, sexuality, sexual activity, spirituality, or compatibility and trust.” That’s a lot of things. It’s also a lot of pressure for someone to live up to. Doesn’t everyone want a soulmate? Doesn’t everyone hope for a soulmate?
“You can’t explain it.” “You don’t have so speak to communicate.” “You have unbelievable chemistry with them.” “You feel like you’ve known them for your whole life.” “Soulmates are people who bring out the best in you. They are not perfect but are perfect for you.” “You know in your gut, in your bones that this is the one for you.” “The pepperoni to my pizza.”
I didn’t realize the amount of stuff out there on soulmates. So many thoughts and lots of confusion. This school of thought from tinybuddha.com says you are you own soulmate. I do like myself. But just not that much. This article lists 10 elements of a soulmate. One of them is that you knew each other in former lives. Puts a whole different spin on this quote: “Have you ever met someone for the first time, but in your heart you feel as if you have met them before?”~ Joanne Kenrick Maybe we met them in a former life? How about this article that asks can you be in love with your spouse but have someone else as your soulmate? You can even find out how to find your soulmate on Wikihow complete with pictures.
A while back I was working at a camp in New York and one of my dear friends named Carlos asked me the question: “Pete, you are not a bad-looking man, why are you still single?” (in his thick, endearing El Salvadoran accent) I choked on my Cinnamon Toast Crunch and stumbled out an answer of “Just haven’t found the right girl.” He said back to me his classic line: “Pedro, what can brown do for you?!” then something profound: “You need to stop looking for the ideal woman and start becoming the ideal man.”
Drop the mic. Carlos walked out of the dining hall and I sat there as the work crew cleaned up breakfast around me. I was stunned. Befuddled. The words struck deep. I realized I had been focused outward instead of inward. I started asking myself the questions:
Is the kind of person you are looking for, looking for you?
Am I becoming the kind of person that the kind of person I want would want?
We all have people we have connected with quickly and deeply, people that it feels so natural to be with. People we have wondered: Is this the one? Could this be my soulmate? Next week I will share 7 reasons why we don’t have a soulmate.