Last week I suggested 5 steps for graduates to set your course for success in their future. It’s not where you start, but the direction you are going that is important. Each of us have different starting points–financial, personal, social, professional, etc. but we can all start journeying on the path to achievement. So here are the next 5 steps to accomplishing your goals. Let’s gooooooooooooo.
6. Look for a constellation of mentors. Be hungry. Be willing to learn. Don’t be entitled in the least. No one owes you anything. Not your job, or city, or friends, no one. Find a mentor—maybe someone you respect at your workplace, in your neighborhood, at church—and ask to learn from them. Don’t ask to meet with them every week for three years. Start with buying them lunch. And come ready with questions. Be a lifelong learner. The world is a vast and fascinating tapestry. Let it blow you away. You have something to learn from, and something to give to every person you meet.
7. Accept that it’s okay that it doesn’t feel okay. It’s weird. You might feel alone. Even in a big city. Life looks a lot different right after college—friendships especially. Community is built into the fabric of college whether you want it or not. Then the month after you graduate, you could be living alone or with roommates you barely know. It might take a while before you have relationships that are as deep as your college friends. My first year out of college, I watched more movies on Friday and Saturday nights than most people do their whole life. I’m serious. I earned the gold card from Blockbuster (local video rental store) which meant I rented 100 movies in a calendar year! You used to have to drive to the store and rent the physical DVD. “In my day…” But the good news is that it doesn’t last forever. Consider seeking counseling, even if you aren’t depressed or in crisis mode. You really could learn some incredible things about yourself. The more self-aware you are, the better son, daughter, friend, employee, boyfriend/girlfriend, etc. you will be.
8. Initiate. Be friendly to people. Reach out. Making friends is hard, but it is worth it. If you want friends, be a friend. Organize happy hours. Take initiative. Have a dinner party. It might take a couple of tiny gatherings or even things that no one comes to before you get a crew to do life with. That’s okay. Decide what type of community you want to surround yourself with and if it’s not available to join, help create it.
9. Take risks! Dream big! Be willing to take risks, especially in your first couple of years out of college. Make that dream trip of yours happen (after you’ve saved for it of course!). Apply for the job you think you’ll never get. Branch out and try new things. Reach out and meet new people your age; they are feeling the same way you do. Experience the freedom to fail.
10. Don’t compare. You will have a friend who is instantly successful. Making more $ than they dreamed of, enjoying their job, etc. Don’t worry. Be happy for them. Your time will come. People only post the exciting stuff on social media, not the hard stuff. And that’s okay. We all do it but don’t let social media fool you. It may look like everything is good and dandy for everyone else, but there’s a good chance that your friends are having a hard time too. You’re not alone. Your first job is not your final job. A first job is a first job for as long as you work there—whether it’s thirty days or thirty years. There’s a 95+% chance you won’t be at your first job for more than three years, whether you love the job or not.
SOMETHING TO PONDER: If you follow 730 people (which most of us follow more than that!) that means 2 of your people are having the best day of their entire year EVERY DAY! 25 of the people you follow are having the best day of their month…EVERY DAY! And you get a front row seat to all of that. This can be depressing. It can make us feel like our life is sad and terrible. But that’s not true! That’s a lie! Remind yourself of this.
Know that your future is bright. Your best years are yet to come! People sometimes talk about college as the “best years of your life,” but that’s simply not true. Wouldn’t that mean that life is on a slow, steady downward spiral as you get older? Imagine if you get married and have children. Your family is not going to give you better times than college? That is ridiculous. College is an incredible time, and a special season of life, but know that the best is truly yet to come.
Welcome to the real world. We’ve been waiting for you.